Why are goosebumps called goosebumps
few people know this but there are actually tiny geese trapped under your skin. when you get cold they think it’s time to fly south for the winter so they try to break free and the bumps on your skin are their beaks trying to break through.
trust me. i am a goosologist. i study geese. my wife is a goose. we have three beautiful goose-human hybrid children. don’t judge our love.
tell me which part of yourself
you hate the most
so I know exactly where to plant my lips
every time I see you
my dad was taking me driving and after i parked i got out and checked then shouted “IM STRAIGHT-well at least my parking job is” and my dad slams his hand onto the dashboard and goes “YOU COULDNT HAVE WAITED UNTIL COLLEGE TO MAKE THAT JOKE NOW I OWE YOUR MOM TEN BUCKS I DIDNT THINK YOU WOULD ADMIT IT YET” so thats the story of how my parents have been betting on when id come out
ew no boys have cooties and by cooties i mean centuries’ worth of institutionalized privilege
does anyone else suddenly feel insanely insecure when someone incredibly attractive looks you in the eye